Well, her lip is healing very well--we can see that. Look at her precious hands.
Her heart seems wide open for love and learning, eating and playing, cuddling and crankiness--during the day. It is at night when her grief emerges (at least that is what we think is happening). She might be having bad dreams, or just awaking, but she starts crying in the wee hours and is fairly inconsolable. She usually just wants to cry, and resists our flawed attempts at holding/loving/cuddling her; she used to calm down when we took her into bed with us, but not anymore. These episodes don't seem like night terrors, per se, rather just "I feel scared and sad and leave me alone!" episodes). Not uncommon for a child who, we assume, spent most of her nights without anyone to comfort her. She lacks the skills for self-soothing that most of us develop (e.g., I hold my childhood teddy bear when the night demons keep me awake).
Adoption experts (post-adoption social workers) speculate the cause is fear of losing their new lives, homes, and families, an inability to self-soothe (they never learned how), and general, heartwrenching grief that needs to come out. Poor baby. When will our love finally heal your soul?
1 comment:
Oh, it will. I hope things are better now. I so can relate to seeing that pain in your dear baby! I can't even begin to remember it 3 1/2 years later. Stay strong and loving--it will get better!
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