. . . l i t t l e o n e a w a i t s

April Memories

2011-04-30T18:38:00.001-05:00

Happy Willow. Happy Dinosaurs.

Unhappy Dinosaurs.

Tai Chi.

Livin' the dream :)

Tomboys and tutus.

Seriously. These single socks emerged from one load
of laundry ... where are their mates?

I am so thrilled that Trader Joe's is only
30 minutes away (compared with 2.5 hours
when living at our former location).

Lovely. Exquisite. Precious.

Our Saplings: March

2011-03-31T22:00:00.054-05:00

Blogspot changed their programming for new posts; for example, you'll see that several photographs uploaded in landscape form (instead of portrait form). Turn your computer sideways? During the dead of winter I purchased these "river stones" on eBay. I had seen them on another blog and the author spoke volumes about how great they were (I didn't understand at that time what the big deal could be). Wrong. Excellent toy that yielded hours of jumping (read = tired toddlers) ,and necessitated intricate balance. Who knew! These were developed in Denmark (another country with l-o-n-g winters, like Minnesota). There's another set that has higher stones (called hilltops)--maybe next winter.

Tupelo found the winter air stimulating :)

Happy 4th Birthday

2011-03-26T22:14:00.001-05:00

Can I have strawberry cupcakes please!

Happy birthday our precious daughter. Oh, could you please stop growing up? Your Mom can't stand it.

Wordless

2011-03-15T23:02:00.000-05:00

February Images: Year of the Rabbit

2011-02-28T22:59:00.000-06:00

Pictures from a Chinese New Year's carnival for families with children from China (and Asia). If you look at Willow's hat, you might guess correctly that it is the Year of the Rabbit (officialy began on 3 February). Farther below are images from ribbon dancing (taught by a front-runner for Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother movie). Lastly, is my fur daughter Chloe, a labradoyte (Chocolate lab x coyote).

Happy Birthday Tupelo

2011-01-28T19:15:00.001-06:00

The most exciting part of Tupie's 2-year-old birthday bash was watching the lemon cupcakes in the oven and licking the whipped cream off the beaters:

She wouldn't dare go out for a diaper run to Target underdressed; thusly, no outfit is complete without a scarf:

(don't forget to check for other recent/previous posts, below)

Cabin Fever (literally and figuratively)

2011-01-25T20:55:00.001-06:00

Our past month: strep throat, the croup, stomach flu x 2, random 3-week coughing virus, and topping it off: a febrile seizure complete with a trip by ambulance to Children's Hospital. We are all well now, and happy, so Mom is ready to catch up with the blog with a couple of posts with pictures from January and February. Don't forget to check for other new posts (see "older posts").

Did you know that shampoo decimates the bubbles (in bubble bath)? Neither did I (until I got a hot tip in the bubble-bath aisle). Shampoo first, then fill tub and add bubble mix.

To enhance "attachment", and comfort Tupelo when she is out-of-sorts (still often, but not as frequently), I was encouraged to wear her (in the Ergo carrier) as much as I could. I took the pictures below when she was being worn on my back; she loves my scarves (and here she is playing peek-a-boo):

A playdough afternoon can be spiced up if you add Martha Stewart glitter ....

Cabin fever:

What to do with two toddlers when it is hovering below zero degrees for a month: go for two or three sled runs on the hill in the village green, then head for hot chocolate at the local coffee shop:

Tupelo Unplugged: Lip and Palate Surgery

2010-12-31T20:31:00.000-06:00

Summary: Cleft Lip & Palate Surgeries

We brought home our second daughter from China at 19 months of age (she was from a small , relatively unknown, orphanage of less than 20 children). She had her lip surgery at 21 months, and palate surgery at 23 months. It is my belief that her surgeries brought up past emotional trauma and negatively affected our connection, each time. Things have slowly improved, though, and it is my hope that our connection will continue to grow.

The following is a description of her surgical process and things we did to improve her outcome, physically and emotionally.

Lip Surgery (Unilateral)
The surgery went well and we spent one night in the hospital. Despite my requests, they did not get us into the recovery room before my daughter awoke. [Note: for her next surgery (palate), I called ahead and spoke with hospital social workers, the pre-surgical nursing staff, and the Post Anesthesia Care Unit supervisory nurse]. She spent the night in a hospital crib (with IV, etc.), while I slept in a pullout chair next to her. Before going to bed she was very thirsty and guzzled apple juice (they didn’t want her to have too much, but she didn’t throw up so I did let her have about 8 oz total). My daughter awoke every few hours in the hospital (mostly due to nursing staff). I told each nurse tending to her that I “conscientiously objected” to the hospital policy of taking off her no-no’s to check her arms every two hours; they were happy to oblige. This helped minimize her arousal when they came in to administer pain meds (morphine). We went home with oxycodone and acetaminophen (both worked great). I notice that other children are sent home with Tylenol-Codeine, however, it has been my experience that oxycodone works superbly for pain management—it did not affect her sleepiness during the day, as far as I could tell. As soon as I stopped the oxycodone (perhaps day 4 or 5?), then she began waking and crying, off and on, all night long (she was sleeping in her own crib, in our room, alongside her older sister’s crib). I continued with Tylenol, and her crying was not related to pain. Crying occurred during much of each day, too (real crying from unhappiness/grief, not physical pain). We were unable to comfort her at night because she was profoundly resistant. I don’t think she was having night terrors, but I didn’t turn on the lights to closely examine her (I just stayed next to her crib and tried to hold her hand or rub her—but she didn’t want anything to do with us). It lasted about 2-3 weeks or so. Reaction to her palate surgery was worse (described below). Food consumption did not change dramatically for any period of time after this lip surgery. Food continued to leak out her nostril (e.g., yogurt, eggs, mac & cheese).

Ear tubes were placed during this surgery, also. Cotton balls covered in Vaseline had to be put in her ears for each bath for several weeks (we were required to take her to the doctor to check for infection before stopping this bath-time ear protection).

Palate Surgery
The surgery went great (1 hr). The entire palate was closed during this surgery; however, the surgeon also considered a two-stage closure (soft palate and hard palate, separately). Her cleft was not exceedingly wide so he decided to close it during a single surgery. According to her surgeon, she was bleeding more than most children do. Bleeding did not stop or slow down, as expected; this necessitated late-night visits by the resident on duty and pediatric intensive care staff. Blood-work confirmed that her hemoglobin had dropped significantly (however a blood transfusion was decided against, at the last moment). Poking and prodding continued for hours, and she was hysterical through it all. I believe this may have heightened her perception that I “did not protect her.”

Sleep
Five weeks post surgery, and she hasn’t returned to her pre-surgery sleep patterns (which had been pretty good, actually). She would awake about an hour after falling asleep, cry for an hour or two, fall asleep for a couple of hours, then awake and cry again. This continued all night long. Crying spells continued during waking hours, too. The crying was intense (not whimpering or half-asleep). The adoption social worked suggested she sleep in our bed, and this has helped a bit. Melatonin (1 mg) helps her go to sleep, though she still wakes and cries several times each night. Sometimes it is momentary, but other times it evolves into full-blown grief. If crying continues, we give her a bottle and, occasionally, 3 ml of Benadryl. Alternatively, we have also gotten up for several hours; for some reason, the “signing times” video’s are calming in the middle of the night.

Food
She’s very stubborn and independent (need to control ?) and falls apart if she isn’t holding her own feeding implements. Because she couldn’t put anything hard in her mouth, I gave her a large serving spoon to eat with and she was able to get the food off it with ease. Gerber makes spoons that are very soft (silicone or similar), and Amy Coe makes pure silicone spoons (super soft). I also tried coffee spoons ahead of time, but she was still able to shove the whole (very deep, large) spoon in her mouth. I also tried a set of large, round measuring spoons—specifically the tablespoon: same problem, she was still able to get it in her mouth. Even though I purchased these other items, the large serving spoon I had worked the best. I pureed everything she ate, and usually what we were eating (except pizza!) I added milk, crème, chicken/beef broth, or cream of chicken soup to puree all these items. I ground up oatmeal flakes before cooking (added teensy pieces of strawberries and maple syrup, of course). Chocolate milk, rice pudding, yogurt, cottage cheese, ricotta cheese, and ice cream were all a big hit, either alone or added to a puree (e.g., smoothie). She gobbled up “Annie Chun’s” garlic noodle bowls (I added scrambled eggs and cooked spinach, pureed it all, then added only a portion of the flavor packet). The two weeks passed faster than I thought it would. We were able to modify her food to a soft diet (e.g., macaroni & cheese) the third week. By week four we were allowed to return to a normal diet (though I still haven’t given her any sharp crackers). I “broke her fast” with pizza and salad :)

December 28th: Willow's Family Day (Two Years Ago)

2010-12-28T20:30:00.002-06:00

This was the first time we saw Willow (Chun Qi), as the ayi (orphanage caretaker on left) and other staff person walk her towards us. At the time I was too apprehensive myself to fully comprehend how The Little One's history and temperament might be affecting her emotional state and fear of the unfolding events. Now that I know this precious child, it is almost unbearable to know she had any scary moments in her life for which I wasn't there to comfort her--pure agony for us, but likely traumatic for her:

First hug, kiss, and smell of this lovely little creature. The life she knew for 21 months was abruptly disintegrating; my life was beginning:

Happy husband! Willow: shut down and numb:

Still waters run deep:

Transitioning, but hypervigilant:

Acceptance? Neutrality? Comforted?:

Emergence:

Hanukkah and Christmas

2010-12-26T20:42:00.006-06:00

Well, I almost forgot Hanukkah altogether; we read books, but with Tupelo's impending surgery and single-parenting while the spouse was away for work, I did not have the mojo to dust off my menorah and add this celebration to honor the other half of my heritage. Please enjoy a few pictures from our Christmas celebration. Our tree (a small, folksy Sequoia) is on the counter as it would not weather the hands of a 23-month old. Warmest holiday greetings to you and yours; may peace soon prevail on earth:

Gingerbread Bears:

Clarice:

Willow enjoying her Folkmanis kangaroo and joey:

Tupelo's favorite gift seemed to be the pink tulle skirt (she wore it all day, including during her nap). The no-no's on her arms are meant to keep her fingers, and any stray objects, out of her mouth for the next few weeks (and yes, she is somewhat miserable when wearing them):

So far about 24 inches of snow:

Finally, a good nap:

Palate Surgery Day

2010-12-23T21:56:00.005-06:00

Dressed for the trip to the hospital, and grooving on a spoon while lounging on the floor: Ignorance is Bliss

Don't I look nice in mint green? This toy is fun, too:

Taking her initial vitals in preop. Coincidentally, we have had the same nurse for each and every surgery the girls have undergone (this is surgery #3). He is super nice, and the resemblance to Tom Hanks is amazing (especially in person):

She might be getting a little suspicious now. They are about to dose her with "versed", a medication whose purpose is to make her loopy, calm any jitters, and result in amnesia about anything that has to do with the operating room:

The time has come. Daddy carries her towards the operating room. The anesthesiologist and operating room nurse lead the way, wheeling her bed along (background):

Warning: if the following picture makes you squeamish, don't look at the pictures farther below:

Surgery took about an hour. Our surgeon thought he might do a two-stage repair if the width of her cleft necessitated it (i.e., first the soft palate, then the hard palate a couple of months later). However, after really looking at it under sedation, he decided to do a standard (entire palate) repair. Per her surgeon, immediately post surgery, “she is oozing more than the average bear” (meaning she was bleeding quite a bit). Here she is, as soon as we could see her, in the PACU (Post anesthesia care unit). At this point the bleeding didn't seem to bad to us ... yet:

After getting to our room I learned what "more than the average bear" could mean (see picture below). As afternoon became night, the bleeding seemed to get worse and the nurses ended up calling the surgeon at home, and also calling the Resident on duty to the room. The bleeding was excessive and hard to watch—it went on for hours. Next I knew, Pediatric Intensive Care was there (to see it themselves and draw blood for testing her actual amount of blood loss, clotting factors, etc.), along with several other nurses (and the Chaplain!) The Chaplain was coincidental (though I didn’t initially know this). Yellow Teddy (Butter Bear) brought much-needed comfort, and everyone said “awwww” when Tupelo grabbed and hugged her—she is now “bloody” Teddy :) After the Chaplain prayed for her the bleeding miraculously stopped—not kidding. NOT kidding.

Despite what was happing, she drank apple juice with intense gusto bordering on desperation (which is a VERY GOOD thing after palate surgery). Thank you morphine.

The next morning Tupelo and Yellow Teddy ended up in my bed, where the coziness of my sleeping bag induced the sleep that had been lost during the night:

Awake and puffy, she actually isn't completely unhappy and was able to eat/drink yogurt, berry applesauce, and juice.

Now that we are home, Tupelo has resumed most of her goofy antics, though peppered with a fair amount of whining and crankyness. She still won't open her mouth enough for us to get a good look (but I think her tongue was/is a little swollen). Please say a little prayer (in whatever style you wish) that her palate heals completely and perfectly.

Sequestered In The House

2010-12-19T23:35:00.004-06:00

In an attempt to keep Tupelo as healthy as possible (so that her upcoming surgery, tomorrow, could proceed), for the last 10 days or so we kept both girls in a bubble, i.e., the house. Despite our best efforts, Tupelo has some congestion: we won't find out until we get to the hospital, tomorrow, whether palate surgery will proceed. Here are a few images from our imprisonment:

Baby It's Cold Outside

2010-12-19T23:04:00.004-06:00

Early Winter images. Frigid (though a balmy 13 degrees or so in the photograph below). Our local bank has a holiday party each year, complete with REAL reindeer sleigh rides (Santa is inside the bank). Look closely at the antler rack on the reindeer on the left: ENORMOUS ... maybe 18 points or more (all grown in about 7 weeks). The velvet was nearly gone (last year's reindeer were in full velvet). Simply gorgeous animals--their eyes are piercing:

Our wonderful friend Suze crafted this star with Willow (which now sits on the top of our little tree).

They said a blizzard was coming ... when I awoke in the morning I was completely unable to see out the porch door (or any other door for that matter). Disconcerting until I had my first cup of coffee. Yes, the snow was fallilng hard, but it had also stuck to every surface of the house, including the screens. Behind the screen is a full curtain of icicles.

Chloe and Gus stepped outside for a look: they returned in a minute with a nice coating.

Bundled up the girls for a little adventure; the snow is only about 15 inches deep at this point (we probably got around 20-24", in total). Beautiful. The girls are light enough to hover at the surface without poking all the way down to the ground:

Rosemary's Baby

2010-12-10T15:05:00.007-06:00

Pictures are deceiving ....

If you do not know the basic premise of the movie, the title of this post won't be that humorous. Suffice it to say that our little Tupelo was possessed for 3 weeks running (see earlier post, "Is Tupelo's Heart Healing"). She cried more hours than not, and awoke (inconsolable and angry) numerous times each night (presumably night terrors, but I didn't turn on the light to see if she was still asleep; rather, I did my best to console the tasmanian devil inhabiting the crib).

This began about a week after her first surgery; it stopped about the same time both girls came down with hand-foot-mouth virus (and I administered baby oxycodone to alleviate the pain from the sores in their throats enough to drink some fluids, but perhaps it broke her pattern of dismay). Miraculously, happy-nutty-cuddly girl returned, day and night.

The adoption social workers speculate that the trauma of surgery triggered a type of post-traumatic stress syndrome in her. Eeee gads. "Though back to herself, and adjusting to her new life again, we are holding our breath as surgery #2 (more painful than surgery #1) is scheduled for this coming Monday. Prayers and good thoughts requested.

When in Minnesota, Get Out and Play

2010-11-26T21:20:00.004-06:00

When in Rome, Do As The Romans Do. Heck, it's a balmy 13 degrees. Bundle up the baby in a down bunting and insert your toddler into a fleece-lined snowsuit. Add two dogs that love to run through the snow and find a field where all four can explore the winter wonderland. There is no bad weather, just bad clothes (so add some layers, bundle up, and head out the door):

Is Tupelo's Heart Healing?

2010-11-25T20:20:00.000-06:00

Well, her lip is healing very well--we can see that. Look at her precious hands.

Her heart seems wide open for love and learning, eating and playing, cuddling and crankiness--during the day. It is at night when her grief emerges (at least that is what we think is happening). She might be having bad dreams, or just awaking, but she starts crying in the wee hours and is fairly inconsolable. She usually just wants to cry, and resists our flawed attempts at holding/loving/cuddling her; she used to calm down when we took her into bed with us, but not anymore. These episodes don't seem like night terrors, per se, rather just "I feel scared and sad and leave me alone!" episodes). Not uncommon for a child who, we assume, spent most of her nights without anyone to comfort her. She lacks the skills for self-soothing that most of us develop (e.g., I hold my childhood teddy bear when the night demons keep me awake).

Adoption experts (post-adoption social workers) speculate the cause is fear of losing their new lives, homes, and families, an inability to self-soothe (they never learned how), and general, heartwrenching grief that needs to come out. Poor baby. When will our love finally heal your soul?

Weeks 1 and 2, Post Surgery (and other random pics)

2010-11-21T21:36:00.007-06:00

During our hospital visit, one week post surgery, the doctor was silent for a moment upon looking at his patient: Whoa. That looks really good ... if I do say so myself.

Woof:

Interesting egg showed up in my carton. Round, with linear grooves. Do you think it might have been a dragon?:

Looking Back: Tupelo, Weeks 0 through 8

2010-11-21T20:27:00.006-06:00

November 1: Tupelo's Lip Adhesion Surgery

2010-11-05T22:03:00.000-05:00

Surgery went great (lip adhesion and ear tubes). Healing continues to go well (today is day 5, post surgery), but we need to watch her like a hawk (she climbs, falls, and bonks her head dozens of times in a normal day). So far, one tiny face-plant outside, in some leaves (even though I was holding her arm as she was walking); no damage, thank God.

Below is a small pre-op ward. This was the exact same room we waited in with Willow for her lip surgery. The blankets are made for each patient by volunteers:

Just before entering the operating room. Chris took Tupelo in, and held her as they administered the anesthesia, until she was alseep:

In the recovery room, immediately post-surgery:

Sleeping soundly in her hospital room--didn't last long. She woke up, and stayed awake, until about 9:30 pm that night. I feel strongly that she was so disconcerted, she remained hypervigilant and didn't dare give in to her profoundly sleepy body. Until the following day, she barely cried (a result of shock, fear, anesthesia, and baby morphine, no doubt).

The next day she looked quite puffy and disoriented (we spent only one night in the hospital):

More October Memories

2010-10-31T21:39:00.002-05:00

Take note of Chloe (below), to the right of Tupelo.

Fall

2010-10-27T20:41:00.007-05:00

Ayi Carol Heads East

2010-10-26T20:49:00.009-05:00

Our friend from Yosemite came to visit and take in some fall foliage. Of course, no trip would be complete with a trip to see the Mary Tyler Moore statue and The Guthrie Theatre in the cities.

Bounce 'Til You're Happy

2010-10-26T19:56:00.004-05:00

What Might It Be Like For Tupelo?

2010-10-23T22:25:00.004-05:00

Just imagine one day waking up and your family dresses you to leave your home. You think you are just going out, maybe to the store; maybe you have never left your home before. But when you leave your home--the only home you have ever known--you do not know this is goodbye ... forever. Within a few hours you are dropped off with complete strangers amidst a cacophony of crying. Reality begins to set in when you drive off with all of these strangers. But nothing like the reality that occurs at bedtime. Fear takes over and panic sets in.

(concept borrowed from literature explaining what it is like for the adopted child)

Tupelo's First Months and Year

2010-10-03T20:12:00.005-05:00

We received a CD of pictures, of Tupelo and some of the other children, from the orphanage staff. The first is when she was only 1.5 months of age. All are irreplaceable, with meaning beyond what we can comprehend now, as they will provide her with a glimpse of the first 18 months of her life in China.

It left us with a lot of questions, too. Who is the girl she is sharing a crib with? Was that just for play (or sleep too)? Did they teach these teensy things how to dance together?

How did she fall and bruise her face?

Despite this all, she had moments of happiness:

Nature Walks

2010-09-23T20:26:00.002-05:00

This interesting earth house, and the large acreage associated with it, were recently added to the State park down the road. Prarie (well, what should be prarie) is interspersed with oak forest. Prescribed burns will, hopefully, restore the prarie to its former beauty and resiliency.

Closer to the River:

Cruising Downtown On A Sunny Saturday

2010-09-23T18:42:00.003-05:00

Our teeny town hosted a crafts fair and we decided to go for a spin downtown. The weather was crisp, and the leaves are beginning to change color. Tupie wasn't overly thrilled with the stroller at first. We kept it simple and slow (and not overstimulate the littlest little one, who had only been home for 10 days).

Ooops. Don't put me down!

Willow has her first ice cream sandwich :)

Miniature cows are very docile:

Willow: Preschool

2010-09-21T15:16:00.001-05:00

Here is a picture of Willow, along with her preschool colleagues, at the mill pond. And, as usual, she marches to her own drummer and is focused on something more interesting:

Catching Up: The first few days home

2010-09-15T22:11:00.000-05:00

Everyone is zoned out. In fact, I am fast asleep (catatonic) as the gang eats dinner. Tupie kicks up her heels as she enjoys baby formula and pizza:

Chloe and Gus don't seem phased by the new addition in their midst:

I read that "daylight" helps reset the biological clock faster, from jetlag. So, we ventured outside right away:

Willow under the willow tree :)

We Are Home (But Not Done With China Pictures)

2010-09-09T23:00:00.000-05:00

We again visited Six Banyan Temple to request a blessing for Tupelo (and our family), and, because it we find it a place which instills reflection.

Below, Chris holds Willow (and Tupelo) so she can light some insense. To the right, Dory places incense while praying for relatives who have passed. We also prayed for those who are still alive. On the left, several monks leave that temple (there are several other temples for specific prayers, e.g., for mothers and women):

The monk chants for our family (and another adoptive family in our group); at prayer's end, the monk sprinkles us with holy water:

Weary from the heat and humidity, intensified by clouds of insense, Meryl and Dory rest for a moment before leaving the temple. This picture made me laugh because we both look awful!:

Just Magical and Perfect: NOT entirely

2010-09-08T21:50:00.000-05:00

Although I tend to post the magical pictures that hint at the perfect family living in harmony, that isn't really the way it is all the time of course. It happens, and it is wonderful because it is something to hold onto to when the going gets rough, but it is very hard to tip the three-some apple cart and add another child. Hard because we have again gone out on an 18-year-long blind date. Hard because we can't know what she needs all the time: is the crying from gas or grief? Heat or hysteria? Constipation or constitution? And, of course, we all are in various stages of shock and elation.

Pool "Psychopathy"?

2010-09-07T17:33:00.001-05:00

Informative signage for guests who wish to utilize the pool. No psychopaths allowed

Below is a picture of the "rinse/shower" to clean off before entering the pool; after passing through this outside shower area, one had to walk through a very shallow wading area to wash off feet.

Tupie (too-pee) was initially terrified of water, but has gotten fond of warm showers; below is her first pool experience. Dory took Willow to the pool each afternoon (and on this day we all joined them).

Willow with her Ayi Sara, our friend and adoption facilitator in China:

2010-09-07T17:10:00.000-05:00

General shock (good shock, though), exhaustion (it took about a week to get over the jet-lag hump), and sketchy access to posting to the blog rendered me without extra words to describe all our experiences here in China. For example, our adoption agency's in-China partners book all their families at 5-star hotels (at special rates). It was delightfully posh and over-the-top frankly, but the comfort was welcomed at the end of every day. Above, Auntie Dory converses with the girls outside her suite at the Garden Hotel, standing on the beautiful plum-blossom carpet (above). All going quite well with Tupelo's adjustment. We finally had a straightforward bedtime in the cribs, with smiles and barely a sound (contrasting with the dismay and crying of previous nights). Below, the little ones (and teddies) luxuriate on puffy linens and pillows:

Dory catches some shade in a small bamboo grove:

We promised Dory a panda, so our guide arranged a trip to the zoo:

Airport: Nanning to Guangzhou

2010-09-06T08:32:00.001-05:00

Leaving Nanning (capitol of Guangxi Province, the province Tupelo was born in) and heading to Guangzhou (Guangdong Province, the province Willow was born in). This is the last city in our journey, and we have come here to complete some additional tasks and paperwork before we bring Tupelo home). We will also have some great R&R—we love this city and there are so many interesting places to visit.

Guangzhou & Tupelo's Medical Examination

2010-09-06T08:32:00.000-05:00

The scene here is interesting and hectic. The adopted children are seen by a series of doctors in different specialties: general medicine; weight & height; ear, nose, and throat; and lastly the injection room. Tupelo received 6 vaccinations (and thankfully did not have any negative reactions, injection-site pain, or run a high fever). She does not have any ear infection (which is fabulous for a cleft-affected child). The doctors nibbled and cuddled her, and were so pleased with her girth. She weighed in at a whopping 21 pounds.

Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf

2010-09-06T08:25:00.000-05:00

Pleasant Goat (and sidekick, Big Big Wolf) is the HIT cartoon in China right now. He is the character that was on Tupelo’s clothing in her referral pictures.

(... post continued from below: days 3, 4, and 5)

2010-09-06T06:14:00.000-05:00

Days 3, 4, and 5

2010-09-06T05:50:00.000-05:00

Still a lot of technical blips trying to post. My friend in the states has been posting for me but is now encountering additional blocks. Soooo … I am going to try using blogger’s email-to-post function. Here we go….

Day 3: Tupie has decided she wants to walk. In fact, she actually can walk great distances (though slow and tipsy). On Day 4, she decided she wanted to feed herself (and feasted on pumpkin/spinach baby food and baby pureed prunes). Most ended up on her face and body. Day 5: Though gentle and quiet (we think), she loves to knock things off surfaces and generally wreak havoc by moving and tossing everything around. She’s also still grieving as of this time (spoiler alert: as of day 6, she woke up smiling and by day’s end, was actually laughing). Willow has also become a wee-bit jealous and it culminated in a 30-minute hysteria-meltdown when judiciously brought (i.e., carried kicking and screaming) into a closed room with Mommy (who decided it was time for a little tough love). After which the 3-year-old rose blossom smoothed off most of her thorns and opened her petals).

More Pics

2010-09-03T08:13:00.001-05:00

Getting to Know Her

2010-09-01T08:15:00.000-05:00

Super sad eyes (red from crying; our first evening together). Willow tries to console her with Yellow Teddy.

The orphanage staff has informed us that she has NEVER had a bottle; instead, they have always fed her formula and rice-cereal with a spoon. She’s a chunk, so she hasn’t had too much problem eating. I’ve tried to look at her palate, which I can see is clefted, but I can’t get a sense of how it compares to other cleft palates (I don’t know if it is narrow or wide). Those of you who have adopted will recognize the limpness in her arms and general stature (shut down, and in shock).

Doing Better

2010-08-30T10:06:00.002-05:00

The poor thing cried for hours … she’d be okay for a little while, then begin all over again. They are both sleeping now. Tupie did eat some for us—can you believe she’s never had a bottle (only a spoon). OMGoodness. We got her some congee with broth, greens, and meat—she seemed to like it a lot (until now, she’s only eaten formula and cereal—mixed together).

She’s got good eye contact, and follows us as we move around the room. She also holds on, when you carry her. She is also holding on to the teddy I made her. Willow is doing great (some reversion, of course). BUT, she wants to hold her and take care of her.

Most of the pictures posted earlier are from Hong Kong, then Guilin. The mountain bumps are Guilin, and appear on China’s $20 RMB bill. Stunning 5-hour ride down the LiJiang River (which was an experience in itself). I also included one of where we are now (the two cribs awaiting their cherubic demure vixens).

Here are some “before and after” pictures from today, including our first glimpse at the doorway. By the way, the staff were really nice and THANKFUL—very gracious and genuine I felt.

She really is adorable. Once I gave her a bath, and put her in cozy pajamas, it made the world of difference. Will take her to the doctor if her fever/bronchial junk aren’t getting better. She’s quite lovely and “aware”.

Meryl & family (11 pm … gotta get to bed!)

Meet Tupelo Wren Ming Huan

2010-08-30T09:45:00.000-05:00

Sightseeing Pics Guilin

2010-08-30T08:04:00.001-05:00

Here are some pics Meryl sent me to post up. Unfortunately no pics of the new little one yet. Apparently she is sick with a cold/fever and they are dealing with that right now, but hope to have some new pics soon!

Mooncakes and Martinis

2010-08-24T08:02:00.003-05:00

I'll get to the Mooncakes and Martinis in a minute. But let me start by telling you this is the first day we aren't all incapacitated by jetlag. We have managed to haul ourselves out of the hotel each day, of course, for minimal sightseeing and poking around the back alleys. We have topped off each evening by swimming in the rooftop (30th floor) pool which overlooks all of Hong Kong.

I (Meryl) had averaged between 2.5 to 3.5 hours of sleep for the first 3 nights (no one else had much more, either). But, today we did travel to see the worlds largest (seated outdoor) Buddha (Tian Tan Buddha, completed in 1993). Travel to TTB included a 5 km aerial cable car ride (and we chose a glass-bottom version to further torture Aunt Dory, who has aerophobia!) In addition to the main attraction, there were also some water buffalo grazing grass in between the tourist shops and holy sites. A young girl about 10 years old went a little too close and the buffalo gently moved her out of the way by picking her up with its horns and dropping her on the ground (the parents didn't notice until I brought it to their attention). She wasn't hurt, but it was like watching a rodeo. There were also some fascinating dogs milling about: half old-world village mutt x jindo.

We stopped at the Starbucks (not far from TTB) whereupon they were selling mooncakes (stuffed with espresso and machhiato paste). It was my first mooncake AND it was delicious (somehow these sounded more appealing than the bean-paste variety).

Poor Aunt Dory--left exhausted by her fear of heights, a subway ride through Hong Kong during the rush hour commute, and throngs of people staring at her freckled creamy skin and glistening auburn hair--spent the train ride home talking about a much-desired Martini at the Karaoke lounge in our hotel (she never got it, and has promptly fallen asleep as I write this blog).

Hoping I'll have the energy and motivation to download (and post) our pictures tomorrow.

Good night. We love you all and one.

We Are Here !

2010-08-22T09:45:00.002-05:00

We arrived last evening, but were too exhausted to blog. We were not recovered by morning, but all are feeling a little better tonight (11 pm local time; 10 am Minnesota time).

But, we know that all of you are most interested in what happens on the 30th (29th in United States) anyway, when we meet Tupelo Wren Ming Huan.

All for now ... trying to wind down. We love all of you (but don't miss you too much yet--it is too fascinating here)!

Peace and Blessings,
Meryl, Chris, Willow, and Aunt Dory (a.k.a Koi Goddess)

Tornado's and Strawberries

2010-07-21T23:19:00.000-05:00

Our first night out without Willow! Our friend's daughters came over to hang out and play with Willow, as we all headed out to a friend's 50th birthday party at Town Hall. After about 30 minutes the band came out to start their first set--within seconds the fire department alarm sounded, signalling a tornado in the area. We ran home whereupon we started a new party in our basement. About 45 minutes later the danger passed and we made our way to the surface :)

Strawberry season happened fast--with a few days of bright sunshine and warmth inbetween incessant storms. Willow takes a break by the kettle pond with Dad before heading out to help Mommy pick. This is a really nice local farm: no pesitides are used and it is run by kids from an inner-city Church.

How do you tell if every strawberry you pick tastes good? Willow has solved this dilemma (you taste each one, silly!):

July: Surprise

2010-07-15T21:59:00.001-05:00

Our adoption agency called us several months ago to share information about a little girl who was born cleft affected. Well ... she isn't a total surprise as our hearts were open to another cherub from China. We just received word that China has approved us, thus we are now paper-pregnant with a 16-month old living in southern China. She is 10 months of age in her referral photos and her name is Ming Huan, which means "brilliant", as in a very bright light, and "jubilant":

Below are two maps. The first a map of China, with Guangxi Province highlighted (Willow's province, Guangdong, is just to the East). China is similar in size to the United States, and lives on our planet spanning very similar latitudes. The second image is a map of Guangxi Province, in very southern China. She is living in an orphange (Luchuan Social Welfare Institute) in Yulin :

Now, we haven't seen a picture of her where she is jubilant yet--we look forward to bringing light, joy, and love into her life, and seeing her first smile. Below is a picture of her when she was ~4 months of age. It is from the newspaper which published her "finding ad" (a legally obligatory newspaper notice which is posted by the orphange in order to look for/notify her biological parents). She was teensy-weensy at birth (only 5 lbs), but not that unusual for Chinese babies. Otherwise, she has been healthy. She was born cleft affected and will have surgery here in the U.S.

Below is a recent picture (she is now about 16 months of age). We sent a care package to the orphange which included a "happy " cake. She is clearly uncertain what the heck it is. A friend remarked that it is probably because the cake is bigger than she is :) But, despite her knitted eyebrows, we think she is lovely and cannot wait to bring her the love of a family:

Happy Birthday United States

2010-07-04T23:05:00.001-05:00

"Feed Me!" Waiting for food at our friend's annual 4th of July brunch, which precedes our Town's parade. We participated in the Children's parade, sporting our patriotic stroller decorated with flags and "peace" balloons:

My friend, Antigone (and her husband), wave at Willow (if you are the praying type, please say one for Antigone who is battling breast cancer):

June: Friends And A Sassy Little Fillie

2010-06-30T20:54:00.000-05:00

Enjoying a Sunday morning by having breakfast at the little Marina in our town; the cafe virtually sits on the water:

Chloe (left), W (center), and Gus (right) peering forward as we explore the backwaters of the River on a friend's pontoon boat. We love you Uncle Toddy-Tod and Aunt DDD:

Aunt Dory enjoying a quiet moment with W and Gus:

At our little Town's Fireman's Ball; sort of like a block party (with a great R&B band and games for the kids):

Aunt Dory teaching W how to make blueberry pie. Dory won second place in a recent pie contest, with this recipe. However, at the contest, she forgot to line the pie with bananas--which constitute one of the three ingredients! Ha ha ha ha ha:

Willow and her friend spend some time at the Park's visitor center, then visit a rehabilitated trail through an absolutely lovely patch of river-bottom forest with some very interesting plants (farther below):

In the backyard ....

Another visit with Early Moon--what an beautiful and sassy little fillie she is (her dad is a Mustang!):

Mid-May: Etheral Forest

2010-05-31T21:45:00.005-05:00

I've posted pictures from this patch of forest before--the soils are sweet, thus the plants are very similar to many spots (of rarities) in the southern Appalachians.

Showing Miss W a fiddlehead (fern):

Looking for birds on our street (we wonder if she can actually spot anything with her binoculars?):

Dreaded Trip, Though Grateful

2010-05-15T22:10:00.000-05:00

Well it was time to make the pilgrimage to the Puget Sound to clean out our cottage, where my Mom was living when she earned her angel wings. W and her Dad came along for much-needed support (work and otherwise).

Willow and Pink-Teddy luxuriating in the hotel (spent the night at the airport before an early-morning flight):

On the car-ferry, crossing Saratoga Passage:

Our little beauty with Saratoga Passage in the background:

Waiting for Mommy (who has escaped into the fabric store):

And, of course, going through my Mom's belongings turned up some very interesting items, including the quintissential Jackie O glasses:

Two weeks at the cottage was enough to warrant refilling the bird feeders. Our new tenant will continue to spoil our feathered guests:

While Mom is at the cottage on a making sense of her Mom's 83 year journey, Willow and Daddy experience one of the local coffee shops (yum, hot chocolate):

The cottage, now almost empty, awaiting its new tenant (who is a wonderful soul; we are grateful to have found someone who will cherish living there):

April: Cupcakes, Farm, and River

2010-04-30T21:01:00.003-05:00

Cradling "Maisy The Mouse". Maisy "mysteriously" arrived in a box, on the porch, addressed to Willow. It was from her future little sister who is waiting in China. Willow seemed slightly puzzled, namely, "how did she know what I like?" Other gifts from China arrive at scheduled intervals :)

A little cranky?:

These are the amazing cupcakes my buddy Sue made for her son's 4th birthday (nature themed, of course). Aren't they incredible!

A very rare (quiet) moment lying on the couch with Chloe:

At the farm of a new friend who rescues horses (large and miniature), along with the occasional llama, goat, donkey, and sheep. We call her horsey-mommy:

Random Adorableness (March goes out like a lamb)

2010-03-31T22:15:00.000-05:00

Tea anyone?

The sock-monkey tea set was a birthday gift from her boy-friend :)

The River In Flood, The Living Room In Flood (March too)

2010-03-26T21:55:00.000-05:00

Below, Willow and her friend Xing Xing enjoy a quick gallop across the dining room before they head to the living room to practice couch-cushion-topsy-turvy and create bedlam!

Aunt Kristin & Nature Walks (March)

2010-03-22T20:26:00.000-05:00

Caveat: forgive fingerprints on camera lens that looked suspiciously the size of a 3 year old's finger.

My honorary-daughter-young-friend-mentee came to visit (armed with fingerpaints). Kristen is currently working on her PhD in Botany/Ecology at University of Colorado at Fort Collins. Of course, we took her on a winter stroll along our favorite trail, winding our way down to the river. The soils are "sweet", producing lush ephemeral wildflowers in the spring. Many of the plants are ginseng indicators, but I haven't found a ginseng plant yet (likely poached out years ago). Still hunting, though-it's so much fun. Obviously, all plants were hiding until next spring.

We did find an amazing snag that was deliciously-pecked by a Pileated Woodpecker beak or two. Willow enjoyed looking in the holes; since that time, we have been fortunate enough to attract one to our backyard birdfeeder loaded with peanuts and suet (yeah! this has been a lifetime ambition).

San Diego: Friends and First Ocean Experience

2010-02-21T22:51:00.003-06:00

This post includes a trip to San Diego which coincided with quite a few "firsts" for Willow: seeing the ocean, and meeting her *honorary grandparents* (who travelled from Boston), friends of Chinese ancestry who travelled from Los Angeles, and a few more friends who travelled down from Yosemite.

San Diego: Continued From Above ...

2010-02-20T23:17:00.003-06:00

Looking at the Pacific Ocean from the balcony of Grandma Henny's apartment:

We highly recommend the fabulous little aquarium at UC San Diego, La Jolla:

Clinging to Daddy's leg:

Making the "sign" for I Love You:

February 14: Happy Year of The Tiger

2010-02-14T20:30:00.000-06:00

I thought the illustration below was lovely. Happy (belated) Chinese New Year.
But, I jumped ahead by a few weeks. First our friend Sara, a.k.a. Willow's Ayi, came to visit in January. Sara was our guide in China, and quickly became extended family. While working in the U.S. (Seattle) for two months, she decided to come visit during subzero temperatures. Willow was enamored with Sara right away (did Willow remember???) Chris loaded her down with presents (books), and we even went to the Mall of America to ride the carousel--good excuse. Willow was afraid, which necessitated we move off the horse and sit on a bench; there was a young man of about 15 years of age sitting on the only bench, and he was clearly mortified when we joined him. Actually he was emanating teenage angst--I still wonder why he was there to begin with.

Happy Family Day (First Anniversary of Willowing) !

2010-01-16T22:13:00.000-06:00

Our family, home for one whole year! We had a party at our local restaurant, the Brookside (under which runs a lovely brook which spills into a waterfall). Other celebrations included riding in a wagon for groceries, dancing with scrunchies in our hair, and eating dinner by candlelight.

Dog Love, Dog Happiness, Dog Comfort

2010-01-02T21:49:00.000-06:00

After a walk ... the pillows and couch cover obviously were not comfortable enough and needed rearranging. Then, the cold outside necessitated getting as close to the wood stove as possible (and yes, it is hot in the picture). Augustus Wiggles "Gus" (left) is Queensland Heeler x Black Lab; Chloe is Chocolate Lab x Coyote. She is primitive, exotic, and gorgeous. Gus is sweet--epitomizing a loving, cuddly D, O, G.

Holiday Celebration

2009-12-15T21:30:00.000-06:00

Our bank brings in real reindeer each Christmas to take children (and their grownups) on sleigh rides. After a fearful meeting with Santa Clause (not pictured) we headed for Chicago to spend Christmas with honorary grandpa Stan (and his family). Willow learned what "presents" are in about 3 minutes (and promptly zeroed in on packages wrapped for her, i.e., the same wrapping paper).

Our Little Naturalist (more New Mexico)

2009-11-22T14:55:00.000-06:00

Bosque del Apache National Wildlife Refuge (Sandhill Cranes and other waterfowl make their winter home here). Miss W really enjoyed looking at feathers through the microscope. Saw gobs and gobs of Sandhills and Snowgeese during a drive around the refuge.

More November (Visiting The Stein Men)

2009-11-15T15:46:00.000-06:00

Jeremy, our oldest (the third brother), is sitting in the middle. My arm is around Nicholas, and off to the very left is Tyler (Jeremy's boys, i.e., Chris' grandsons--hey, I'm not ready to be a grandmother!). We are sitting outside the visitor center at Saguaro National Park (where Jeremy's step-dad works).

The pictures below were take (of Chris' grandsons) at Arizona Sonora Desert Museum.

November 2009: Willow's Three Big Brothers

2009-11-13T21:53:00.000-06:00

After leaving New Mexico, we brought Willow to Phoenix, Arizona, to meet two of her three big brothers (and her two nephews, i.e., our grandsons). It makes us heartsick to live so far from them all. Matthew is on the left, and Gregory is on the right. They both loved her, and ... vice versa.

Visiting New Mexico

2009-11-11T21:18:00.000-06:00

Pilgrimage to New Mexico (and Arizona, above). The New Mexico trip was to visit my best friend (and her family). Dorothy "Joan" adopted my brother Paul's beloved dog: Hudson (an incorrigible, loving Jack Russell Terrier). Dorothy is a saint: she takes in lost souls of all forms including people who don't have anyone else; the menagerie includes 6 other dogs, two rats, and one horse (Palomino). Dorothy is also my dearest friend from high school and we've maintained our enjoyment of all things immature and tasteless. I am still laughing weeks later :) Her Mom and daughter spent countless hours playing with Willow. Dorothy and her husband also bought Willow her very own horse .... Visited a groovy little Aquarium in Albuquerque, too.

Hudson Goldin

L to R: daughter, Willow, Mom M, and Joan (ha ha ha ... posted in her pajamas!)

Random Cuteness

2009-11-02T21:19:00.003-06:00

Daddy's office.

Poor Gus got a terrible laceration across one of his paw pads. it was a Sunday night, so I grabbed the First Aid box and wrapped it tightly. I was focused on the paw, and realized afterwards that she was putting bandaids all over Gus. Isn't that PRECIOUS !!! P.S. $1,000 for this little mishap: the cut was very deep and the first set of stitches failed (because Gus took off the bandage several times a day, despite wearing a collar).

Willow is sucking the insides out of all the heirloom cherry tomatoes (thank you Sue).

Gently petting a wooly bear.

Playing with Mommy's hair bands on a rainy afternoon.

Fall in Minnesota

2009-10-28T14:18:00.000-05:00

Trails, leaves, bogs, insects, and crisp-sunny days.

Late Summer

2009-09-30T20:38:00.000-05:00

An August afternoon was spent at a nearby petting zoo with our friends Elizabeth (mom), Elanor, and Nadine (and some curious white-tailed deer). What a becoming nose!

Our three kids exploring at river's edge.

Not too much time yet for making things for Willow. I was able to squeeze in some fabric painting onto one of W's shirts: I used her "chops" (from China, carved with her name in Chinese symbols). Love, Mom (one teeny heart next to the symbol for my name).

This many necklaces became a hazard in short order, so they are temporarily put away in the closet.

Goodbye summer.

County Fair, Butts, and Beauty

2009-09-24T21:17:00.010-05:00

County Fair farm animals make us happy

Signing "cow" (sign language). Can you believe how precious W is?

Pure, wholesome delight (for Mom; W isn't too sure).

You'all work with some of these, don't you?

Down the road (great Ginseng habitat, too).

Learning how to dress "monkey." (Am trying to post more pictures, and less text, for the time being. Easier right now).

Willow and Chloe Hangin' At The River

2009-09-08T21:23:00.003-05:00

I took Willow to pick strawberries--she had an orgy, taking one bite out of each one and throwing it on the ground, only to grab another. This is what her shirt looked like when we got home.

July 2009

2009-08-20T20:08:00.018-05:00

At a July 4th Celebration ... Willow got to play with Walter "Fritz" Mondale's granddaughter. To our good fortune, Charlotte and Willow hit it off, as they were the only kids at the party. Turns out they both have the same birthday (literally the exact same age).

Former vice president Mondale lives just up the River (and he is specifically responsible for our Country's Wild and Scenic Rivers Act). He and his family were at our neighbor's brunch (all were getting ready to participate in our town's parade).

Willow and our friend Tod, also watching the parade

The last month has brought forth an explosion of "talking"; Willow-bean has been gearing up for several weeks, for sure (warming up her tongue with delightful sounds like "mama" and "dada"). Now a light has gone on in that darling head. Much of it is still baby-babble, but she is also repeating words when we ask her, and making all the fun farm-animal sounds.

I should also mention that she's been learning words at pre-preschool: "no" + "no way." For example, "Willow, do you want to go inside"? No way. "Willow, lets put on our pajamas"? No way. Of course, her response makes me clue in to the fact that I am not asking the question in the correct format for conversing with a toddler. Here are some photos over the past couple of months....

NPS friends from Omaha camped at a nearby campground: Willow was invited to make her first campfire smores.

Willow (far left ... the gorgeous one with knobby knees) and other members of our local adoption group "Minnesota Red Thread". All gathered to attend the Dragon Boat Festival in the Twin Cities.

Hanging out along the banks of the St. Croix.

On a neighbor's porch, verlooking the St. Croix (just after this photo, two young Bald Eagles landed in a tree about 20 feet from us and were quite boisterous).

The Best of Times, The Worst of Times ....

2009-07-29T20:45:00.007-05:00

I don't know how else to explain the last 8 months of my life.

After reading the short post below, you know that my Mom passed away. Well, three weeks later my brother Paul passed away as well (completely random and unexpected). Life just sucks sometimes, and my body and spirit were broken. I am not completely "me" yet, but life has continued at Willowing speed.

So friends, yet again I am adusting to a new reality. So much is wonderful and fill me with awe and thankfulness: Willow, a new life in a new state, new friends of profound generosity, a new home (twice), latte's at my fingertips.... But, what can you do when you are drowning because loved ones have moved on: their tandem passing haunts me when I least expect it.

I will end my pity-party for now and post some pictures of the good.

P.S. Blogspot isn't working so well, and photos and captions are sometimes awkward in placement ???

Our lovely bed-head, Mommy's teddy (made by my Mom for me 48 years ago), and pink teddy (who I made for Willow).

Listening to the baby monitor one day, I heard Willow wake up, but then immediate went quiet again. I thought she had fallen back to sleep until she called for me a while later: she grabbed the baby wipes and added each one to her crib decor.

Aboard the ferry on our way to Whidbey Island, in the Puget Sound (Washington), where my Mom was living (in the cottage Chris and I built for ourselves one day).

Willowing on the streets of Seattle ...

2009-07-29T20:25:00.010-05:00

Pointing at the cameraman, outside of Grandma's cottage. The weather was beautiful every day (for those of you who think it always rains in this area).

The "sign" for tree.

Peekaboo Series (1)

Peekaboo (2)

2009-07-29T20:02:00.009-05:00

And ... the last image in the peedaboo series :)

Hiding in the stacks of Metsker's Travel Bookstore

Pointing at the globes on the ceiling ....

Along a garden path in the village of Langley, Whidbey Island.

More pictures soon. Promise.

More Willow-Blogging Soon

2009-06-19T23:06:00.003-05:00

Hello Friends,

I've encountered a few stressful events which prevented blogging (and inspiration to blog). My dear Mom passed away on 9 June and I have been dealing with the emotional and practical aspects of her illness and passing for the last 6+ weeks.

Say a prayer for Nardia Rose Goldin: she had a gentle soul, was in love with nature--especially birds, and made contributions to our lives which were reclusive yet beautiful (writing and poetry).

Willow Under The Willow

2009-05-16T20:15:00.005-05:00

We communicate daily (via a Yahoo e-mail group) with a specific cohort of adoptive parents who, too, have adopted their children from Willow's specific orphange: Wuchuan Social Welfare Institute. Each year the parents participate in a fundraiser for the orphanage: a DVD of all the children adopted from that orphange (not just this calendar year, but all girls each and every year). The parents submit 5 images of their children, then contribute $20 to receive the DVD after it is compiled. This year they requested that one of the pictures include our children wearing something traditionally Chinese (thus the picture below, of her silk dragon jacket). It wasn't one of Willow's happiest of days, and the dog fencing is in the background, so I am not sure if we will submit this one. The rest of the pictures are just random cuteness.

The car broke down outside of Home Depot. All told, we were there for at least 2 hours ... occupying Willow's time in any way we could. The tractors, and flowers, were exciting moments.

What do you think it is like, for Willow, smelling flowers for the very first time?

We visited a nature sanctuary up north about an hour from our home (Crex Meadow). We stopped to encourage this snake to move across the road (but it got very agitated ... curling up, hissing, and striking). We think it was a hognose snake (not venemous), but a great impersonator. We were lucky enough to see two Sandhill Cranes and various waterfowl (but no shorebirds).

Woof: big dog. Believe it or not, Chris' park has several packs of wolves that frequent the park (one of these packs uses Crex Meadow).

Willow, on the front lawn, in front of our Willow tree.

A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words ...

2009-05-02T20:24:00.005-05:00

Hello Friends,

Sorry it has been so long since I have gotten time to post. I will post quite a few pictures, but not sure how much I will embellish them with text. But, for the following three pictures, no words are necessary. We had just gotten onto the trail early one morning, with Willow in my trusty off-road stroller. Our two dogs ran ahead on the trail. Within minutes one came running back ... didn't seem to notice the gashes under his eye, nor the one that splayed open his leg (barbed wire left over from what once was a field and has succeeded to forest?)

2009-05-02T20:00:00.001-05:00

2009-05-02T19:33:00.002-05:00

Our friend, Carolyn, accompanied Chris and Willow to the Bell Museum. Chris and Carolyn first met 28 years ago (while both were working at Goblin Valley in Utah). Coincidentally, now they both live and work in the same County in Minnesota.

2009-05-02T19:00:00.003-05:00

2009-05-02T18:49:00.001-05:00

There is Something Spring-Green in Backyard

2009-04-14T21:50:00.004-05:00

Self-portrait(s) by Daddy.

New Lips = New Words: The Marvel of Willow's Surgeries

2009-04-12T18:44:00.017-05:00

Peek-a-boo. Hanging out in the back yard, down at the river's edge.

Here is a picture of the dock which floats along the shore of our back yard (water level pretty high right now). Our neighbors dock their pontoon here during the summer.

Willow learns about Chloe's favorite thing: belly love (i.e., rubbing her tummy).

Kissing Chloe. So gentle (most of the time)!

Willow sketches the tree branches, before leaf-out.

Really happy or really sad: there doesn't seem to be many "inbetween feelings" this past week. She's changing a lot; growing emotionally (this includes running headlong into the terrible twos).

We made our first attempt at pre-school (Early Childhood & Family Education classes provided by the state of Minnesota). Parent's stay, which is important for Willow right now.

Willow had her 2-week post operative check-up (see also, blog post below). Greeting Willow, above, is a picture of the PNP for the Cranio-facial Specialty Team at Gillette Children's Specialty Hospital.

Here is a picture of the "allergic reaction", though in this picture it is already starting to moderate. Willow's surgery is perfect (except for the increased redness and swelling). I may have mentioned this before: the surgeon has cautioned us that it will begin to look worse over the next month or two; then, over the year, it will start to look better again. She now has a beautiful little "cupid's bow"on her top lip, thanks to the skill or her surgical team, but it is hard to see because of the irritation.

Daddy and Willow hard at work on their laptops.

Willow, Chloe, Gus, and Mom go for a walk (self-portrait).

New words: March 31st, just a week after surgery ... out of the mouth of babes' came something that sounded like 'ma ma'. I watched carefully, and her lips were moving together; this is something she was unable to do before. But, she hasn't really tried to articulate the letter "m" again. She is making lots of new sounds, including "clicking" with her tongue. She has found her voice (screaming, just for fun); I occasionally see her feeling her top lip, with her tongue. She stares at herself in the mirror, as she did before surgery (what does she see?)

She also says "oy, oy, oy" in rapid succession. As of this past week, she has started saying "hi", using it in context (and for goodbye). Happy Passover. Happy Easter.

Melted Together (Surgeon and Cleft Staff so Talented)

2009-04-09T21:53:00.003-05:00

Hi. I'll post some pictures very soon. I have had some other items to attend to, and utter exhaustion (lack of creativity) at night have hampered my ability to post.

Miss Sock Monkey is looking a little better; the redness is beginning to fade and the random infection (reaction to something related to bandages or skin adhesive) is clearing a little each day.

I am not exaggerating when I say that it is very difficult to see the incisions themselves: it appears as if she was melted together. Simply amazing (a pediatric dermatologist, who examined her upper lip this week, wasn't sure what surgery she had? He couldn't tell and asked the surgeon if she had stitches: the surgeon replied that she actually had hundreds of them).

Our doctor cautions us, however. He said it will begin to look worse before it looks better again. It will take a year for the healing to be complete.

Miss Sock Monkey

2009-04-02T21:43:00.006-05:00

Willow has a very swollen rash and looks like a sock monkey.

She has had a reaction to either the dermabond (used on her entire upper lip), or … who knows. After viewing her picture, and consulting with each other, they had us come to the hospital last night for admittance (but then ended up releasing us). They brought in their infectious disease pediatrician to take a personal look and swab it; cultures so far are positive for staph—the kind that is hard to treat (we all knew she already had it) and yeast … awaiting swab for herpes simplex. Regardless, we are treating her for all and not waiting on further results of the cultures (meds will stop if something doesn't grow). She’s so swollen and red (as if the surgical incisions weren’t enough).

But, she’s happy and her super, kooky, nutty self (it is me that is stressed out about it … and wondering when it will go away). Positive thoughts or prayers, please.

Chapter Four: Two Surgeries Down + Birthday Time

2009-03-26T19:38:00.011-05:00

Chapter 0: BW (before Willow)
Chapter I: Invisible Red Thread Unites Us With Willow, Though Separated by 7,000 Miles of Pacific Ocean
Chapter II: Forever Family Together in China
Chapter III: Home
Chapter IV: Two Surgeries Down and Birthday Time

Ouch. But getting better every day (the bandage is bloody; that's not the entire incision)

Getting ready for the birthday party (Willow is napping upstairs)

What are these things?

Nothing is more fun than a metal box that opens and closes.

March 26th: two years old! We can't stand it; she's growing up.

Too much birthday cake ....

You can get a feel for how tiny she is when photographed next to her balloons.

The next day, Willow's bandage was starting to fall off so I put some steristrips over it (she was not happy about it).

Wee Willow Pre and Post Surgery Number 2

2009-03-25T22:17:00.009-05:00

Random adorableness, the week before surgery.

Waiting for the doctors to tell us it is time to join them in surgery.

Disclaimer: I mentioned in my last blog that she is quite swollen, and her surgical site and steri-strip covering are encrusted in blood; we can't clean them, but rather are instructed to bathe her as normal (water will loosen the gunk) and let everything slough off when it wants to.

We are in the PACU (post-anesthesia care unit). Willow has awoken, but she's miserable and crying (interspersed with sleep).

Leaving PACU, on the way to our room for the night.

After a very long evening, Willow slept for most of the night. Her oxygen levels kept dropping, thus the tube above her head is providing a little boost.

A new day has dawned. Willow is awake and hungry (note the raspberry yogurt on her face).

Looking precious, as she strolls around the hospital halls (waiting to be discharged).

The end.

Surgery Went Very Well

2009-03-24T14:28:00.003-05:00

The doctors are super-pleased, and Willow reacted as well as possible. She had a rough day (Monday, post surgery), but today (Tuesday), she is feeling much better and is hungry :) Glad to have this hurdle behind her now.

I will post pictures soon. She's quite swollen, and her surgical site and steri-strip covering are encrusted in blood; we can't clean them, but rather are instructed to bathe her as normal (water will loosen the gunk) and let them fall off when they want to.

We watched the movie Nemo again. To remind you, Nemo was born with a fin that is smaller than the others: he and his Dad call it his "lucky fin". Willow has a lucky nose and lip.

Thank you for all your prayers and well-wishes.

Meryl, Willow, Chris, Chloe, and Gus

Happy Feet

2009-03-20T21:34:00.006-05:00

After Willow has eaten her own (large) meal, her tradition is to see what Chris is eating ... She goes in for the lean (hanging by her elbows on Chris' knees).

Then the feet go into action: happy feet, moving up and down, left and right ... over and over again.

This little move slays me: the upkick followed by leaning on the toes. By the way, Willow went to the doctor yesterday and she has gained a pound (despite having not eaten much for a week, after placement of her orthocleft retainer).

Mass quantities.

A day at Pioneer Park (actually visited 3 times this week, now that the temperature has gone up). The wooden walkway has been a big hit (the other objects in the playground are a little too big).

Eye Candy

2009-03-20T20:32:00.005-05:00

I wonder what she is thinking?

Warm days helped with snow on the trail.

Learning how to run downhill, uphill, across the hill.

Wee !

Ooops.

Ooops again.

After walking for almost a mile (Willow limitation), it was time to turn around and head home. Willow fell apart, when we tried to put her in the carrier; nor would she walk.

All forgiven.

Maybe ... God Willing ... " A 'Miss Donna'"

2009-03-16T18:44:00.024-05:00

Willow's "Finding Ad", published in the Wuchuan newspaper in November 2007, when Willow was approximately 6 months of age. This is the earliest photo we have of Willow, who is pictured on the left (thank you to Brian Stuy, researchchina.org). The precious girl on the right is discussed below.

My last blog was about my new life, that is, specifically about a new friend that Willow and I have here in Minnesota. That post provided the inspiration to mention another wonderful friend ... an amazing friend I have never met. Her daughter, Faith, and Willow are from the same orphange, and were adopted by us--their forever families--only 3 weeks apart. In addition, their "finding ads" were published in the newspaper at the same time (and the girls were next to each other: Willow is in the middle, and Faith is on the right (she's 3 months younger than Willow). To protect her anonymity (no last name), let me introduce the amazing Miss Donna (she's from the south, so this is the appropriate moniker). There are no coincidences; there is kismet. There is Miss Donna.

The Adoption-ator
Donna is grace, Donna is a force. Donna is unrelenting determination: a heat seeking missle when it comes to negotiating the world of international adoption and encouraging everyone to consider adoption as an option. Not sure if she has a photographic memory, but she knows more details about international adoption than most professionals working in the field. And, dang it, she's always right :) This statement won't mean much to those of you who aren't adoptive parents, but Miss Donna was the first person in the United States to negotiate her way through USCIS and the new (2008) Hague Treaty on International Adoption regulations without a hitch (every other documentation had been returned to the applicant because of errors or missing info). Donna has four children, two of whom were adopted from China. Her family is wonderful, but I'd expect nothing less from this Mama Polar Bear.

Toe cuteness.

Related to the above discussion (about Donna) is the news that Chris and I have decided we will try to adopt another little one from an orphange in China. Because of certain age regulations, the mounds of dossier paperwork has to be in China by July. The only way we can accomplish this will be to pull a Miss Donna, seriously. She's "on the case", willing to help, and I am grateful.
Change of topic. I put a finger puppet on Willow's zebra pull-toy. The phone rang ... we got involved in other activities. It wasn't until later that I noticed the riding partners Willow had created in my absence:

Riding partners (by Mommy).

Obviously Willow grasped the concept: this is what I discovered later, when I walked back into the room we had been playing in. She slays us.

Willow: Ups and Downs. Mommy: Ups and Downs!

2009-03-13T22:20:00.008-05:00

All in all, it hasn't been that awful (now that Willow's first surgery is behind us). It's relative: it was bad, it was painful, I felt helpless, but it isn't bad on the scale of life's really hard things. I had lots of friends who have gone through similar surgeries with their children to cheer us on. My cousin is a professor of pediatric nursing (intensive care), and she was able to provide a lot of tangible advise. And a good friend has worked at a pharmacy for about 20 years (and can advise me on drug do's and don'ts).
Ten days to go until surgery number two. The second surgery is when they will (1) remove the orthocleft appliance that is screwed into the roof--and wired through the gums--of Willow's mouth, (2) repair the clefts in her lip, and (3) clean her ears (impacted with wax ... weird). Here are a bunch of pictures to illustrate our life these past 10+ days, post surgery. I'll try to add some captions, too.

A few images from day 2, post surgery. Gave her a bath to brighten her body and spirit. She seemed great (and some friends explained it this way: the kids feel so much better that they get up and act normal ... until they realize that they really hurt and are way out of sorts). Willow is still in happy delusion ...

Dancing with Chloe.

Anterior segment of wire that actually goes right through her gum, from side-to-side.

Cutie pie (wearing pants from her red-couch photo in China).

Have you ever seen anything as cute as toddler feet? You can see what a coquette she is (just by looking at the foot-pose). I painted her toes .... I don't think she's really old enough to appreciate it, in a girly way (though she seemed to like it!)

She loves to get into Gus' "den-den" (maybe it feels cavelike and secure to her, too).

Here they are together (Gus is tolerating her); after I snapped the picture, she was distracted and removed. Gus and Chloe like her, and we want to keep it that way (she now thinks it is fun to chase and generally annoy them). That said, they still rush up to give her a kiss when we come home from an outing.

Day One, Post Surgery

2009-03-03T19:41:00.007-06:00

Taking a nap on the family room floor (after effects of anesthesia).

Willow woke up this morning quite "happy" (we were shocked). She certainly was out of sorts all day, and she slept more than usual, but she was much better than I could have hoped for.
Sad moment because I've put her "no-no" arm braces back on (so she can't reach her mouth). She's very unhappy about this (as Daddy took them off earlier ... )

All-in-all, it has not seemed that bad for everyone (not that I can defifnitively speak for Willow). Although there has certainly been discomfort (we are not sure how bad it is: is Willow particularly pain-tolerant, or are the medications keeping the pain-demon at bay?) This is why God invented Tylenol #3: to help children with intense pain.

We all slept more than expected, though Mom stayed up until 2:30 am (to make sure Willow was still breathing and didn't have a bad reaction to the codeine, and because she was recovering from the adrenaline overload in her bloodstream from our time in the recovery room at the hospital). Below is a picture of the appliance (don't look if you are overly squeamish); not all the wires or plastic in her mouth are visible, but you'll get the idea.

Please pray for resilience for this wonderful little child. Thank you and goodnight.

Willow Home From Surgery

2009-03-02T21:11:00.007-06:00

Relaxing with the crayon box before going to the hospital.

Hello Friends. I am going to post some pictures now, but I first wanted to get this text up so you all know that Willow is home. Rough day for her, hard to see her so upset and unconsolable (after the surgery). Lots of pain meds ... and then a lot more. She drank some, and ate a little at home: now asleep.
In the waiting room, still none the wiser ... but, those funny folks in the blue clothing are about to call us through the scary door.
Worst part for her is that she can't suck her "blanket wrapped thumb" because of the no-no restraints on her arms. It sends her over the edge (it was her only source of self-soothing for her first 21 months in the orphange, and has continued to be a big part of her life when comfort is sought). Okay, I'll post some more photos very soon.
Pre-surgery, in the hospital room (illustrative of the thumb and wad of blanket in her mouth). It takes a bit of material to fill up a "wide smile."

She was uncharacteristically (well, unpredicted) happy pre-surgery (after a few tears); her protruding premaxilla is very visible below (post surgery, this is now pulled back into her mouth).

Willow's been happy like this for many, many weeks (since we got home from China). I forgot how sad and upset she could get (until later this day).

Willow's team of doctors work here. Very cool part of the day: I got to go back to the operating room with Willow, and hold her while they put her to sleep (surrounded by a team of very capable and compassionate doctors). It looked just like it does on television, actually.

Many of you know that I really wanted to spend some time as a nurse in a children's hospital ... this may be as close as I get.

Out of the operating room; in recovery room (we ended up there for about 3 hours ... much longer than expected). Willow cried for a full hour, at least; Chris cried and felt faint watching her writhe in discomfort. I felt helpless (a first ... usually there is something I can do to help; not this time).

Finally, asleep (her mouth is filled with wire and plastic now, but it is hard to see. If you zoom in, you can see the wire around (and through) her premaxilla (which is back about 1/2 cm and now completely vertical). Four additional screws anchor the palate expander in the roof of her mouth and provide anchor-points for bands that continue to pull the premaxilla back.

She drank a lot of juice once awake; I was able to feed her a little bit when we got home, though tears began to flow again because she couldn't feed herself (because of the arm braces, pictured below) and, I suppose, because the pain makes her miserable. The dogs were so quiet and gentle with her tonight (she definitely smells like a hospital).

Goodnight. Thank you for your prayers and heartfelt wishes for Willow's speedy recovery from pain and trauma.

Willow's First Surgery Tomorrow, March 2nd

2009-02-27T23:45:00.006-06:00

Take a moment to gaze at the beautiful little precocious vixen pictured below. If you've been following this blog, you, too, may have become accustomed to this face... You, too, may mourn the loss of the face you've come to love as as Bao Bei Bubelah embarks on her surgery journey. To remind you, all the parts are there: there is just "some assembly required."

Twenty pounds (head 10, body 10).

Obviously Willow is a baby who was born with a bilateral cleft. She is scheduled to have her first surgery on Monday 2 March (at noon), during which her orthodontic surgeon (with the assistance of her plastic surgeon) will place an ortho-cleft retainer (using screws) along her upper teeth and palate to move her teeth and gums back into alignment. The presurgical orthopaedic appliance--using a blend of physics and art--will be in place for the next three weeks. On March 22nd, they will remove this device, and at the same time, the plastic surgeon will repair her upper lip. Her surgery is at Gillette Children's Specialty Hospital in Saint Paul, Minnesota. It is an out-patient procedure, so we should be home that evening.

Prayers for weeWillow on Monday will be appreciated. It is expected that she will be in a lot of pain, post-surgery (her upper gumline will be moved quite a bit while she is in the operating room, using wires, force, and skill). Ouch (try braces x 1,000). After a few days, she should be feeling okay? For the next three weeks, she will be wearing something called "no-nos", which go over each arm and covering the elbow to prevent her from being able to bend her arms (and touch her mouth). Some kids go with the no-no flow; some are wild little animals trying to take them off :)

I've been cooking and pureeing in preparation, and have concocted something I am loosely calling Baked Willow Lasagna Casserole (organic: ground beef, garlic, ricotta cheese, little round pasta rings, mozzarella cheese, and sauce). She can pack quite a bit into her pie hole (see below). She's also been scarfing pureed mango-blueberry-raspberry mix, with a little acai berry juice to put the antioxidant level about as high as it can go (the photo doesn't capture the depth of color ... the taste is so deep and complex). And, of course, we've got pureed hotdogs (nitrate and preservative free) mixed with basmati congee in the freezer as well. I'd love an idea for yummy green vegetables, too? (I gave her edamame, but she peels off the outer layer and throws the inner beans at the dogs). She doesn't like cookies; she's got a sodium tooth instead.

First bite of Willow Casserole ...

And, soon thereafter ... there wasn't much left.

Puree of mango-blueberries-raspberry frozen fruit mixture from Trader Joe's.
Have we told you lately how much we love her? She is wild abandonment. She is shrieking joy. She is bubbling over with love and happiness. She is mischief and mayhem. When not picked up, she is crocodile tears. Her batteries get recharged by hugs of reassurrance and security. She is overjoyed by the dogs and watching them play. She is stealth while attempting to tease them. She is quiet cuddles and baby kisses. She is foot-stomping and hand flailing when her music plays on the speakers. When asleep, she is fitfull. When awake, hypervigilant. May we tell you again how much we love her?

Future national park ranger.

Those who know me well are aware that I have a scarf fetish. It is genetic, carried on the x chromosome (the affliction was passed down by my Mother, who is double recessive). I've managed to get a few scarves onto Willow (around her waist) ... then it hit me, in a flash of brilliance (after purchasing some cute bibs on Etsy)... Why not spice up Willow's daily attire with a scarf-like bib! (image below) Although I should have been cleaning or attending to paperwork during her nap, instead I was obsessed with making a chintz bib (for drool, not food) to match that day's attire. Now that I have the kinks worked out, I should be able to whip out some more and spice up her attire much more frequently.

Chintz bib-scarf.

More pictures below ...

2009-02-27T20:50:00.006-06:00

This may be one of my favorite pictures of Willow ...

Earlier in the day, while she still had pants on.

Pink Teddy basking in the luxury of the new "Rosebud" minky blanket I made for Willow (its softness can't be captured in a picture). Teddy likes it better than Willow does, though.

Running back to Mommy, after looking out the window at the new snowfall.

We sent the orphanage camera's this past November so that they could take pictures of Willow and document a small portion of her life before we became a family. We believe that the woman in the picture below is the woman who was most attached to Willow, and vice versa. The nannies ("ayi") have many children to care for, but certain relationships are formed, on some level that we aren't priivy to. I did get the name of Willow's primary caretaker, while we were in China, so I will try to deduce if this is the same woman.

This is a picture of 5 children that were going to be adopted in the very near future (i.e., they had been matched with their forever families). I have been able to find and contact the parents of 3 of the children; those children are now in the United States, too (haven't found the parents of the girl in the white and blue jacket). Behind them, standing, are the Orphange Director and Assitant Director (left to right, respectively).

Surgery Postponed (Willow has Pneumonia!)

2009-02-12T21:26:00.014-06:00

Bubelah is bouncing back quickly from her temporary lapse from pneumonia (which postponed her first surgery). Surgery is rescheduled for March 2nd (placement of a pin-retained device in the roof of her mouth whose purpose is to pull her pre-maxilla into place). Surgery to sew her lip is scheduled for March 23rd.

Trying out a new food item (in preparation for post-surgery). She licked it (but never did take a bite). Nevertheless it was fun!

Purple hippopotamus, purple child.

Dancing with Daddy and Chloe (to Mana).

Cutest tootsies in the world (not webbed toes like her frog-mother)

Happiness is Yobaby yogurt.

Modeling Auntie Kristin's sweater.

Thank you for the suggestion of a "pop-up" toy, Auntie Lara.

Our little tom-boy, with a scarf around her waist for flair.

The Flower Begins To Bloom

2009-02-12T21:26:00.006-06:00

That's one big pie hole ! Bib came from Paisley Blue, a "store" on Etsy.com (one of my favorite internet sites; discussed below)

Self-explanatory :)

This child is very coordinated and has a great arm for throwing balls of all sizes.

Leaving the window (where she looks out on Chloe and Gus in the yard).

Helping me put BOB (the SUV-hybrid stroller) together. It is the most wonderful companion ...

Pine Needles Trail is just down the street. Our first outing went quite well (she fell asleep, even though it wasn't much above zero). The river is in view along this entire trail (which ends in a nearby State park).

Couch Potatoes: Willow and Gus

2009-02-12T21:25:00.005-06:00

Two owls (and one owl ate some craisins!).

Augustus Wiggles, a.k.a. "Gus", is a good sport.

My buddhist frog is now sporting a cross. I was waiting with Willow at the pharmacy and struck up a conversation with a gentleman next to us. Willow captured his attention (and heart), and he shared a bit of his story. Anyway, we had a very deep conversation about life, adoption, and surviving cancer (which he had). After getting Willow's meds, we said goodbye (but, as you may know, it takes a long time to get down a hall with a toddler ... he found us again, and pressed a very special gift into my hands. I protested, but he insisted we had been his guardian angels that day. He took the cross off his neck because he wanted Willow to have it. Not only is it gold, but it is embellished with platinum (I think, see picture below). Though Willow will be raised with several religions and spiritual choices (Jewish, Buddhist, Christian, and metaphysical), I think this is a special gift. I don't know his name, but I hope we'll meet again outside the pharmacy so he can see Willow blossom.